Mothers day

10:55 PM

Long due write up. On this year's mother's day I would like to write about my mom (mostly) and my motherhood (a little bit) so far. 

Recently as I have been going through some de-cluttering just for fun, I remembered that I still have a small steel suitcase of stuff I packed with things..

Things others gave me, sentimental writings, and things I made for her over the course of the years - greeting cards, letters and the like. I would love to add more of them for my lovely mom some day, but with everything becoming virtual, I have become lazy in expressing anything to loved ones in paper or art. And, we may need to de-clutter again. Instead, I chose to write something here in the online world. 

Amma. This word means 'mother' in my native language.It's more than a word. She has given me life, literally and figuratively. Mothers are the most important figure in a person's life. If you have a close relation with your mother, you will usually be a good cookie. 

My mother was one heck of  a homely woman, and a working professional. She was one who was always running around to get the tiffins packed, pick up the kids, help them study and then put them to sleep. I still remember 'shrub' and 'bushy tree'. I cannot believe I have vivid memories of Mom dressing me up, then trying to feed me, and then rushing to work looking beautiful in her saris.

I also remember waiting after school some days and hating it, but most days I don't remember a bad thing. I fondly recollect cuddling and sleeping on her arm where I would find the most comfort. I tried to do it recently, and realized how fragile she has become, and how big I have!! Nevertheless, I must admit I can still find a strange comfort in it.

As a mother myself, I sense my child doing the same with me. He hates sleeping alone. He loves being cuddled, sang to sleep. But, I now know how blissful it feels for the mother too. Nothing better than cuddling with your mom or child.If you have a son, you will cuddle him more. Once he's a grown up man, it probably becomes awkward.

I also remember our long walks, her playing badminton with me and encouraging me in working hard. I also remember her and Appu reading and studying. I know today, that she studied/kept time for herself, when we kids slept.

She used to encourage my brother to pursue his interests, even the ones which boys his age typically didn't do - drawing kolams, singing, cooking. She also stood up for my interests, which ranged from badminton, reading obsessively, writing, to watching movies. I love that she gave us equal opportunities and never discriminated me based on gender. We were also encouraged to do work at home, without feeling overwhelmed. She was the lenient one when dad pressured us with his perfectionism.

I love how she taught me to watch out for predators, any sort of abuse and still be a carefree child. We were usually never in anyone's house late hours, or alone, and were not accepting of eatables from strangers, no matter how attractive it seemed. 

She was a damn protective mother, I hated it at times, especially when I was at school. Today I realize I will probably be the same way. I am not sure if that's a good or bad thing but I wouldn't do it any other way.

For instance, I will teach my son how to cook or do some household work, and let him pursue his other interests. As long as he's passionate, honest and works hard, I will support him. If I have a daughter, I will present her with equal opportunities as men, while still encouraging her to be a graceful woman. 

I am happy to share some stories about her, some of which were never told to us by her. She appears to be this career woman, teaching at a reputed university. Of course it is nice to have a supportive husband or man in your life, but women should still maintain their individuality. Too many women lose themselves in families, at the cost of being inwardly miserable.

But she is also a fighter, who never gives up no matter what life throws at her. I still remember when her health deviated and I stayed at her hospital. She was so strong at that time. Be it health, career, hormone strung teens (I was there too), it is amazing to see a woman this strong. As her daughter, it has made me a self made person, given me an ability to believe in myself and my dreams. I am thankful to her for this lifelong gift.

And, she is all about family. She has taught me that no matter where I go in terms of career, if I choose to work, I should enjoy my life and even my job. There's no point earning money, being an independent woman, if you do not spend time with your child,or have the love of/for your husband/parents/in laws. No point increasing your bank account if you do not have peace of mind.

Grandmom and grandson in matching yellows, sharing a peaceful moment
She taught me that you should care for your in laws as your own,even if there is a possibility that they don't. Luckily, I have been blessed with a great second family who reciprocates my love. Amma has made some big sacrifices for the sake of family. She is one amazing woman. I would not have anyone else as my mother. There are days we hate each other, but the love is always too strong. 

She has always been there for me, albeit annoyingly at times. Oh by the way, she is also an awesome grandmother and loves this 'promotion'.

A final note for those ladies/mothers reading this, just think of this scenario: How many women spend all their lives on others - husbands, children, claiming to be happy, but eventually become depressed, angry, or blaming others? 

Mothers, please take out some time for yourself. Do something you enjoy.

Be it cooking, spending time with family, working, studying, teaching, do at least one thing for yourself. No family can be truly happy if the woman is making all the sacrifices. Trust me, you will be a better mother, wife, daughter because of it.

Happy mother's day!

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About me

Welcome to Sleepy Mom Bliss, written by Amrita. I wanted a platform to share all my experiences, struggles and memories of being a mom.

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