After I had my  baby, I realized things aren't all pretty as pictured. I'm listing a few things, but it probably won't be very ordered while reading it.

No one focuses on you anymore:
Not that I'm complaining, but once baby arrives, people hardly look at you. Yes, a few still think you are pregnant and ask how many months are left, but well that's not the nicest thing to hear once you have had the baby.

Per my pediatrician's advice, I was also supposed to focus on getting more than enough milk/formula to ensure baby gained good weight and pooped enough. I used to pump every few hours, and also have an alarm every two (sometimes three) hours at night, to ensure my little one fed round the clock. I had to express each time I nursed too, as he was not strong enough to suck like a champ as a newborn.

Physical pain:
 My hands and breasts were sore. Not to mention, I had a case of milk blebs, clogged ducts and recently, mastitis. I also had carpal tunnel syndrome for the first three months postpartum. All of these were painful. The back pains were painful and making sure the stitches are dry and yet cleaned up well also was tricky. But, after the sixth week, I was feeling a little better. Then I got milk blebs again.

'Going to miss this time' blues
Yes, each day you will see your baby daily, for hours. So, it will be hard to track growth changes right away. But then you will go back and see a week or two old pictures and realize how big he is now. You will also feel more tired holding him than before, and realize it's his increasing weight.

And it will break your heart (in a nice way) each time he hits a new milestone. Yes, being a mom is overwhelming.

'Going back to work'
Luckily, all of the physical pain became better before I joined work. Getting back to work wasn't easy for me. More on that later though. It wasn't easy, just because it is so hard to leave a three month old baby at home. Then, you want to be good at your job. You want to focus on work for eight hours.
But, it doesn't always work that way. You might end up doing some work from home, and think of baby at work.

Add to that you need to take out time for pumping (assuming you breastfeed), and communicate to men on the team what pumping is and why I'm permitted to take scheduled breaks (per California law at least).  But, the great thing about having a baby is that it makes you a little more carefree (aka shameless) to share such details. After all, there are more than 10+ people looking at you as you are delivering.

Breastfeeding, burping, and no sleep
Breastfeeding wasn't always the beautiful, relaxing time I had pictured. It wasn't always like that, but many a time I would just want to and sleep for eight hours (or more) straight. And somehow, I wasn't able to co-sleep in the first few months, both  me and my husband were quite scared we might sleep too deep and hurt our baby by mistake. So, he would sleep in his bassinet beside us, and I would get up every two hours to feed him. I would also hold him for an hour so he wouldn't spit or choke  as he had bad reflux.

Constant hunger pangs, for mom and baby
I was always hungry. My mom would ensure that I had a good dose of a horrible tasting medicinal herb (supposed to make you more hungry so you eat well, while also helping to improve milk supply) before/after I had any major meals. I used to picturize husbands giving their wives a massage, pampering her etc. I never got a back rub (maybe once when he had a back sprain and I helped him out instead, he did it the next day). But, I'm not complaining. My husband was there for me the first three weeks after baby's birth to ensure he thrived well. Both of us lost a lot of weight as my little one gained some!

Brain doesn't work the same anymore
I was also very birdbrained and fog brained. It was hard to remember the minute things like glasses, cell phone and after a point, it became very tiring. Also, whenever I wanted to hug my baby, I would remove my glasses. I also watched a lot of TV during the first month as I used to get extremely bored sitting/sleeping all day breastfeeding. How I miss those days already! I wish I didn't watch TV and just dozed off with my little one. But, what's done is done.

There's no me time or date time, only baby time.
After I had my baby, it was hard to take time for myself. The littlest things, like brushing, taking a bath, combing hair, was easily forgotten. I would just want to spend all day and night with my little one even though it got very tiring for me at times. It happens so quickly, you don't even realize life is no longer about you, but about your precious little one. And when you realize it, it's too late :)
All in all, my postpartum phase wasn't very pleasant. Still, I think I would love to have another baby. Let's see.

Sleep training is a lifetime lesson you can teach your baby. Sleeping well helps in their development, moods and thus eventually makes for a happy baby.

But, sleep training takes time, patience and determination. Also it may toughen you up a little as you hear your baby crying a bit during the process. I will walk through many nights of sleep training which took me more than a month, and was not my first attempt. Then, I will list out what I learned that other moms can use. 

We chose to take a difficult path of a middle ground. We did not let the baby cry too much, but some parents find it easier and effective, to do so. You can research other techniques and chose the best approach for you.

Sep 8, 2015 (day one):

I'm tired but I feel like writing. It is day three of sleep training. From the past few days, we have started 'sleep training' again. This is our second attempt in the past three months. During our first attempt, S was not as stubborn and more easily tired and sleepy. It wasn't very easy, but he wouldn't cry more than a minute or two and would fall asleep after being just a bit restless.

Now that he is almost seven months, things are way way different. He has recently started to crawl. He is also starting to try and sit up, and keeps rocking his bum whenever he gets a chance. Plus, it's summer. Maybe he's just more hungry. I know. I'm giving excuses for his getting up every two hours again. Maybe it's another of his sleep regressions. Maybe it's a growth spurt. Ugh. I don't know. It's just sad that we have to go back and train him, yet again..

Now Mr. S, my baby, is a stubborn one. He always gets his way. He looks innocent, but really he is, only when he closes his eyes to sleep. Otherwise, he is always giving me a side look and a sly grin. He will be tired, but he still wants to explore. He will fight sleep. He will only sleep at the breast. He will not drink, he will use me as a human pacifier. It is hard.



My mother in law is helping us out and he will use her to rock him back to sleep. He also refuses to be put down, unless he has fully passed out. He will get up suddenly and be shocked that we aren't still holding him. Then, in the middle of the night, he will get angry. Angry that he fell asleep again. That we tricked him again. I know no way out. I wish I could follow my doctor's advice, and put him in his bassinet awake, but drowsy. Real life with him doesn't really work that way. He will fight sleep. He will keep playing. He will keep rubbing his eyes and stare with sleepy eyes. But he won't sleep.

Then he'll start crying. In a few minutes, he will be at the boob. Then he will pass out. After two hours, he'll be up because he didn't really eat, and also he will realize by that time he's sleeping alone. I repeat, this is hard.

Sep 12, 2015 (day four): We have tried to set a pattern before he sleeps. The minute he gets cranky or yawns after around 6:30-7 pm, we dim the lights, and decrease play time. This helps set the mood. He still cries a bit but we don't hold him as much now. He also knows what to expect and sleeps more easily. It's late at night, and I cannot sleep. I'm worried he will get up and cry. Will try to get some sleep and update this post during the weekend.

Sep 18, 2015 (day ten): There is a slight improvement. S has figured out he's not getting any more of mom at night. He keeps getting up though, because he is still figuring out to sleep. He is also a bad sleeper at day, and when he doesn't sleep well during the day, the nights are even worse.

October 15 (more than a month):
So I decided to come back and give an update after trying for more than a month. Below are some tips on what I did to finally 'sleep train' my stubborn one.

How to know if your baby is ready: After six months of age, babies can drink enough to not feel hungry for at least three hours. You will realize that your baby is getting up more, not to feed but probably because it is a habit. Both of you are tired and cranky. Then, you know it is time to sleep train. 

- Cut one feed at a time. And keep the gap between feeds slightly more than usual. It took us about a week to extend an hour each. We started off in September, and only in October were we able to see results of him sleeping for around five to six hours.

- Keep pumping at night if you want to keep your supply. Otherwise, expect your supply to drop. Your body will adjust itself in a few days, which is pretty fast considering the fact that I have been (mostly) exclusively breastfeeding since the last eight months.

- Feed him well during the day. 
- Allow your baby to try to sleep on his own. 
Let him/her be cranky, fussy and try to sleep for a bit. No harm in letting him try to self soothe. It is amazing how babies know exactly what ticks them on or off.

- Notice the hints he gives that he is sleepy.
My baby can start shaking his head, rub his eyes till he can barely open them, or scratch his ears. Then he will start crawling and take breaks, lying on his belly and looking at me for help. While I feel a huge gush of maternal love, I give myself  (and him) a minute or two to figure it out. Before, it would take me an hour, if not more to make him sleep by rocking. Now, I just wait till he is really ready, and then give him a good feed. Then I burp him and pat his back, and he is usually peacefully sleeping.

- Daytime naps are important. 
Strange as is may sound, ensure that baby takes their scheduled naps. Each baby has a schedule, we just have to figure it out.

Mine usually sleeps till three or four am, then feeds once. Some days he will wake up and try to play, but usually falls asleep once he realizes mom (and no one else) is in the mood, and it's dark. That brings me to the next two points.

- Set an ambiance and schedule. 
Dim the lights, set his bed, and lay him down. Slowly, he will figure out when it's nap time and when it's not. Some parents even set a bath and play schedule a few hours before sleeping, but it hasn't worked for me.

- Ensure baby is awake, at the last feed of the night. 
And feed him well. This really sets the mood for him to not be hungry and crying at night. This way, you can be sure that if he gets up every two hours, it probably is out of habit and not out of hunger.
- Be consistent.
Don't give in two days, and then try to sleep train the next few days. Be consistent. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit, so consistent behavior daily will show him what is expected and what's night. It will also help him understand sleep time vs other times better. For instance, don't start sleep training if you plan to take a long trip.

- Be patient.
Be prepared to spend more sleepless nights trying out 'sleep training', than feeding every two hours. It is easier to co-sleep and feed baby and give in to each want of baby, than it is to set a schedule.

- Toughen up for their own good.
If you are one of those parents who never wants to let kids cry, remember some times children cry because they're not familiar with something. A child may cry on her first day to school, when he/she falls from running, but it is essential they they still do it. Be there to offer comfort, but teach them they need to figure it out on their own eventually.

- Baby will sleep through the night when he/she is ready
  'Sleeping through the night' or 'STTN' is overrated. They grow big fast and this is an important phase for them. Never try sleep training on a baby that is smaller than six months. That is downright cruel if cry it out tactics are used. Babies also go through growth spurts, so make sure that if they are usually good sleepers and are having some sort of sleep regression, it might be a growth spurt.

Hopefully, this post will be helpful to mothers. I have seen a bunch of articles that speak on improving milk supply. I will write about what has helped me personally. My baby was a few days early, and slightly underweight. My pediatrician is the best, and all efforts were put to feed him very well (possibly more than he needed initially). Remember, you should not pump if you are pregnant. I have heard it supposedly triggers labor but I don't know the scientific truth behind this claim.

Get baby to latch, soon after giving birth.
The first thing you should ask for is getting the baby close to you within a few hours.

As soon as I had my baby, the doctors took him away for a few minutes. They were removing meconium, so I knew it was worth the wait. Then he was handed off to me. They placed him on my chest and he tried to latch, successfully. Note that he was a tiny baby who didn't have the energy to suck (at the time), but he always had a strong latch.

Be positive, stay stress free.
Being a new mom can be stressful. It is even more stressful to obsess about whether baby is getting enough to eat or not. Being stressed will not help, but it can surely decrease your supply temporarily. If you are going through extreme stress, make sure you eat well, pump well and get lots of rest. It is not a big deal to supplement if that helps improve the bonding experience with your little one.

Nurse as often as baby wants.
Always try to bring baby to breast before trying other methods like pumping, to improve supply. While it may not seem like a lot, no pump can remove the milk as nicely as your baby (assuming you have a normal delivery where the baby knows how to suck). 'Supply' is in fact, 'demand and supply' so the more you nurse, the more milk you will make. If you pump though, watch for engorgement issues and decrease the frequency and length of pumping as needed.

Get a pump and pump frequently.
If you are not provided with a hospital grade pump, ask for one. It also doesn't hurt to ask for your insurance to provide you with a pump, during the last stage of pregnancy. I don't remember the exact process, but you will be asked a few questions, and should receive a pump for free. The pump can take a few days to arrive. I chose the PISA (Pump in Style Advanced) from Medela as the hospital grade pump was also a Medela, and my lactation consultant also recommended the same. Plus, one gets the set of parts for free (for sanitary reasons) and it doesn't hurt to have an extra pair for regular use. Eventually, I got a manual backup pump for about 25$ as well.
Make sure you pump regularly. If you are pumping for a newborn, you should pump an ounce or two every 3 hours. Try not to overdo it if possible. Not a bad thing if your supply is low, but I had oversupply issues. Read this for more pumping tips.

Sleep well (even though it's tough for moms).
Eat nutritious and calorie rich food.
You can easily find very good sources for what to eat, I will list a few that have helped me a lot.

• Plenty of water - hands down this helps supply the best.
• Oats. You can eat plain oats cooked in water or milk. I find leaving oats overnight in water, and then drinking this 'water' works the best. It doesn't taste very good, but add it in any drink, with sugar and it works fine. 
• Garlic, fried in ghee (clarified butter) - helps improve the fat content in the milk
• Fenugreek - soak a few seeds overnight and eat on an empty stomach in the morning, or even better, team it with oats (do not  eat together but one after the other, otherwise it will taste horrible).
• Asparagus
• Milk (assuming no lactose intolerance)

Go to a lactation consultant if you have doubts.
You may be thinking that your supply is low, but in fact your baby may be feeding just fine. Pumping less does not always point to a low supply. The baby getting hungry random nights also doesn't necessarily signify your supply is low. Babies go through growth spurts every few months and they grow suddenly overnight, literally. Your body may not expect the growth but in a few days, it adjusts. It may not be a good idea to try introducing your little one to more than 2 solids a day till one year just to substitute. 

Please visit a lactation consultant who may weigh your baby before and after a session. 
Try to take your baby hungry with you if they offer this, so you can get a better estimate. Still, they may not eat the same amount every meal so if the amount is not what you want, don't be disappointed. Babies mostly crave more at night as they are naturally nocturnal. As long as your baby has wet diapers daily, they should be okay. 

And a bonus final tip. Don't hesitate to supplement with formula.
 It's not such a big deal, and especially in the first few days, your baby already loses a bit of weight, and the milk takes a few days to come in well. Excluding the colostrum, if you need extra calories for the baby, you might have to supplement with formula. Don't feel bad about it. You can still bond with your baby, and you should be happy that you are doing the best for your baby. Also, you can always try to improve supply by pumping, continuing to try getting the baby to breast. Soon enough, your supply will be good and you can exclusively nurse your little one for the the first six months. Then, you have to pave way for some solids. Still, your baby will rely on milk (or formula) as the primary source of nutrition.

Today it is more than six months since my lovely precious Suhanth was born. I feel so happy to see him babble, feel my face and eat my face and acknowledging us by showing his hands to be lifted.

He was so small when we first exchanged glances. How pink he was, and how tenderly he came to me. I was even a bit scared to hold him and stared at him in disbelief.

He was such a delicate little bud, and is now blossoming into a handsome flower. My heart breaks a bit as I see him hitting each milestone, but I know it is part of being a mother.

I cannot begin to imagine the day when he will be a stubbly, grown up man and be awkward about mom hugging him in public. Not that it will probably stop me from doing so. I never thought my life would be so beautiful (aka sleep deprived and no coffee allowed) with this naughty little munchkin.

Today, he has learnt to lift his bum (the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life!) and move forward pushing with his head. He also loves sitting and being held (but of course).  Other milestones include smiling, giggling, rolling over.

On Aug 29, he started to crawl. Today, I see him trying to sit up. And fall. Over and over. He also hates it when I start to eat, and this is the time when he remembers how hungry, how sleepy he is. I feel like a cruel person eating without tending to him first. Then once I hold him, he will make farting and cooing sounds. Still, he melts my heart each time. I'm sure he will, all his life.

If possible, try to get baby to latch before pumping, this may help overcome any supply or latch issues if you keep trying.  You can express or put the baby to breast, before trying to pump. I have found it useful to help me get a letdown started.
Essentials / the material stuff:

• The actual pump/pump parts - insurance should provide one for free. A hospital grade pump can be rented or bought at a lower cost through insurance too.

• An extra pillow, especially for electric pumps. This is for the back :)

• A box of tissues to wipe off any leaks. A pocket size Kleenex works great. 

• Breast wipes to soothe before and after.

• Breast milk storage bags and a pen or marker to write details.

• Ziploc bags - I find these useful to throw dirty parts and store clean parts. 

• I use a marker to mark which is what, and use 'freezer' bags to store parts between sessions.

• Something to clean the parts easily, daily. I find that if I have a very rigorous process to clean, it discourages me to pump some days. It's nice to have a set of microwave bags, cleaning agent, and a stand to store sterilized parts.

- Find the right spot.
Keep a serene spot to pump where you can relax. It is handy to have some supplies nearby which are listed below. The same applies when you are done and want to store the parts in a specific place (ziploc in fridge) and sterilize them for repeated use.
- Relax. Stay bonded to your baby.
Take a deep breath and just think of your baby. Any negative or stressful thoughts can wait. I have seen that, when I'm stressed, the amount I pump is significantly lower.
Keep some pictures of baby handy. Look at them often. Think of your baby's soft skin and how sweetly they fall off to sleep when drinking :) A lactation consultant told me that breastfeeding is an emotional connection with the baby, I'm sure the same can be applied while pumping.
- Stay hydrated and eat well.
 Keep a bottle of water handy. Drink often. Eat well before and after, and take some rest after pumping. You deserve it.
- Keep a timer but don't look at it. 
Keep track of how long to pump, and set a timer that sets off once you are 'done'. Add a few minutes to account for stocking and storing. Also, don't look at how much has been pumped - I have done this many a time and somehow the amount gets stuck when I'm just looking at a specific quantity.
- Thin / thick marked storage:
If you pump right after your baby feeds (if you breastfeed), mark the milk as 'Thick'. You won't pump much, but it is rich milk that is great for the baby. If you pump exclusively, take two times and the first 10-15 minutes, mark the milk as 'Thin'. The next 10-15 minutes, mark the milk as 'Thick'. When feeding, you can put thin  milk first, then thick to simulate an actual feed.
- Massage
Expressing and massaging has always made me get more milk than if I just sit and get pumping. You can try a hands free bra to help with this, as it can get tricky to massage when holding a pumping bottle.
Miscellaneous:
- Make sure your pump is connected properly, if it is an electric pump. If you have problems with your pump and have a spare set of parts, try them.
- Pump early in the morning or earlier in the day.
- Pump longer if you pump less number of times.
And here are some products I recommend using to help you pump (personal use, no sponsored products):
- NUK breast milk bags, Target Up & Up storage bags
- NUK breast wipes
Cons: It can get noisy. I actually liked the hospital grade pump that I rented better. I have heard great things about the Spectra S2 which you can get for a discounted rate.
However, PISA is provided by insurance for free. Medela's customer service is awesome though, so if you have any issues they will be quick to provide overnight replacements, and you can send your defective parts/pump later. Both are pluses.
- Babyganics cleaning - I find that this worked best and parts are 'squeaky' clean. Literally squeak and no residue remains.